Saying #7:

Here is another incisive saying in Spanish about how little control we have about certain things and events.  Accepting that some things will just happen is part of being alive and having fun every day. No attachments, no judgment, no anger.

Cuando te toca aunque te quites y cuando no te toca aunque te pongas

The translation goes something like this:

When it is your turn, it is futile to try to avoid it, and. when it is not your turn, it is futile to try to make it your turn

Sating #6:

When people are asked to think about a message or lesson that they may want to leave for their children or grand children they often become overwhelmed with the possibilities.  Trying to synthesize a life worth of experiences into something succinct is hard.  For me, this saying says it all.  

The Way I lived My Life Is My Message

Complete alignment. Full of joy. Broad and deep.

Saying #5:

This saying encapsulates an interesting fact about the way this world has been designed.  It appears that the thing we call evolution is built into the laws of the universe.  A force that permeates everything to move forward, to discover, to explore, to design, to build, to make things happen.  This saying simply encapsulates what it takes to align with the universe:

The World Belongs to the Bold

Those who take the risks, those who embark in the hero's journey, those who stand tall with new opinions and perspectives, those who see the world differently, those who visualize new better ways and take action to make them a reality seem to fare better in this world than others.

Saying #4

This is an incisive saying, in Spanish, that speaks to the futility of trying to change things we do not like in other people ... and highlights the implication that we should care for people just the way they are.

Si yo que soy yo, que quiero, necesito, coopero, y me dejo ... no puedo ... como se me ocurre que puedo cambiar a otros

This is hard to translate but roughly it says something like this:

If I who is me, who wants to change, who needs to change, who cooperates, and who would let it happen ... Can't ... where in the world do I get the idea that I can change others

Saying #3

This saying is a great reminder of the power that love and the power of doing the right thing have on our overall life experience.  Struggles, hardships, challenges, accomplishments, success, love.

I believe that if we are good people, we may have a chance to go to heaven if it exists ... but if it does not, we then had our own heaven here on earth while we were alive

Saying #2:

Nobody really tells you what a monumental life event it is to have grandchildren. You not only rediscover the meaning of real and eternal love but now you do it with all the wisdom you have acquired over the years.   This combination is an incredible joy multiplier.

Many of the sayings in these posts are specially targeted to my grandchildren as they begin to incorporate into the world as children, teenagers, and, eventually adults.

This one will be very helpful. Very thought provoking.

Never care about what others think of you, but always care about everyone

Saying #1:

I saw this banner while riding my motorcycle in the mountains around Medellin, Colombia, in the back of a very old, rickety, and colorful bus struggling to climb a steep hill:

Life! I will live you intensely regardless of what you throw at me!

Joy, sadness, tragedy, wealth, poverty, happiness, love, despair, peace ... it does not matter, for this gift we call life, I promise, I will live you with all my heart, intensely, fully, for as long as I am alive.

Sayings and Life Lessons

For the next few months, I will post a series of quotes that I have collected, developed, and cherished as I travelled the world with my family and on my motorcycle.  

They not only capture incredible wisdom in their simplicity but they also nicely align with my worldview as it has evolved over the years.  

Some are serious, some are funny, some are incisive, some are simple ... but they all require a little bit of reflection and thinking.

Why do some people seem luckier than others?

Perspective and proactiveness

There is no such thing as luck in the universe. Researchers at a number of universities have actually studied the subject, arriving at the same conclusion.

There is, however, a broad perception that some people are generally luckier than others. Apparently, some people seem to go through life always exposed to the best opportunities and experiencing the best outcomes in most random situations the world throws at them, while others seem to be constantly hit by unfortunate events.

These lucky individuals seem to have an innate ability to develop a “perspective” of upcoming random events as a way of life. These individuals foresee multiple potential outcomes in a given situation, developing favorable solutions to each of them just in case one happens to materialize at the last minute.

Regardless of the actual outcome, these “lucky” individuals are able to react promptly and thoughtfully to potentially negative situations because they were prepared. Anticipating solutions to a number of potential outcomes is what appears to create luck.

On top of that, being proactive in the creation of multiple potential outcomes for a given situation is also a well-developed ability of these lucky individuals. When a random situation is developing, proactively working on creating more possibilities generally increases the probability of a good outcome in an otherwise seemingly random universe … applying to multiple universities instead of just one, anticipating and resolving several possible scenarios for a complicated traffic situation just ahead, or developing multiple solutions to a number of possible outcomes in a difficult negotiation.

At the end of the day, perspective and proactiveness will simply make you happier and more prepared to deal with any random situation the universe throws your way.

How can you stop time?

Art and Beauty.

Have you ever been in front of an amazing painting and slowly forget that the world exists as you get drawn into it?  Did you notice that all of a sudden you were there, present, focused ... just enjoying beauty?

This is the effect that art has.  It stops time. It stops the world. It stops you thinking about you. 

Suddenly, nothing else is in your being but the sole need to enjoy what you are seeing, and to extend it for as long as possible.

Great art, great beauty has the ability to stop the past and the future.  

It forces us to be in the now ... with no notion of time.   We stop thinking about the past (what we could have done different or better) and the future (the anticipation of challenges, joys or fears yet to materialize) to be in the moment.

Once in this timeless moment ... you never want it to end.  Why is that?  What are we getting from this experience?  Is this a way to get closer to the essence of what we are really all about? 

  

How do we avoid being sucked into all these attention grabbing technologies?

Ignore them.

Why are we worried about this in the first place? Aren't we in full control over what we do?  What we engage in, and who we do it with?

Is it really that hard to keep the "resistance" to be "assimilated" alive and well.

Ask yourself, what will really happen if you did the following 5 things today?

1. No social media accounts (Facebook, Instagram) - imagine eliminating the deep seated need to constantly check what other people are doing ... or the desperate need to post about what we are doing, forgetting to live the moment for ourselves with the people that are actually present
2. No TV cable subscription - imagine eliminating the feeling that you have to watch something because you are paying for it or because it is the thing to do because that is what everybody else is watching.
3. Leave you mobile phone behind - imagine not carrying your mobile phone when you are with somebody ... no interruptions, no need to fact check anything ... actually having a deeper conversation.
4. Do your electronic communications in bursts - schedule the processing of all your emails, texts, etc. in bursts once or twice a day instead of every 2 minutes.  
5. Use a task management tool - offload all future action items to a task management tool to take things off your mind until it is time to act ... eliminate the need to constantly review to-do lists or feeling that something is not getting done.

If you are successful, what will you do with all that extra time?  Spend more time with your loved ones, traveling more, learning more, helping more, thinking more?

At a minimum, you will be living more connected to everything ... and, strangely, time will slow down and days will last longer.

How can I short-circuit the time it gets to really know somebody?

Dive deep, fast.

Have you ever met somebody and all you could talk about was the weather, your job, their job, "how everybody is doing", or a number of other shallow interactions that do not get you to even remember the answers?

What is it that prevents us from jumping right in, with intensity and curiosity, in a way that makes us lean in, listen, and hang to every word?  Is it because we are not supposed to engage deeply with somebody we just met? Is it because we are concerned about stepping into meaningful feelings or sensibilities? Is it because they may take what we say the wrong way?  Or because they may get the wrong impression about us?

What would happen if we stop worrying about these things for a moment and jump right in into something like:

• What their views are about the meaning of life
• What their dreams are ... and what the greatest obstacles to overcome are
• Why their marriage or a certain relationship did not last ... what worked and did not work
• What events in their life meaningfully changed the course of everything
• What their greatest fears and joys are

Imagine how a conversation around these themes would develop. You probably are curious already so go ahead and try it ... and enjoy every bit of the deeper connections you will make.

How do you find a good balance in life?

The three-legged stool.

It is interesting how the best advise in life often comes in sets of 3.  A long time ago, as part of a workshop for busy professionals, somebody mentioned the 3-legged stool analogy as the key to a long, fruitful, and happy life.

The idea is that we should strive to balance our time and attention equally between work, family, and ourselves.  The idea that one third of our time should be spent on each of these elements to get best results seemed interesting.  Especially the third one: ourselves.

Spending time developing one's career and enjoying one's family make perfect sense.  The one that most people forget is the one about devoting time to ourselves - our aspirations, our interests, our happiness.   The idea of spending the same amount of time in our own development and enjoyment is what most successful people forget ... and it is an absolutely critical leg for a balanced life.

What is something you have always wanted to do, selfishly, but never felt you could? Why not? ... Is it time to try and observe the immediate balancing force it has on the other two legs of your three-legged stool - work and family?  It is never to late to get started : )

Why are there so many people suffering from anxiety these days?

Too much information.

We can see it all around us ... and it is getting worse.  People are consumed by their online connections more and more. The trend does not look good. People walking, waiting at a store, eating at a restaurant, driving ... all looking at their smartphones.   Why is it that we cannot resist these constant feeds?  Why are these devices so good at triggering the right hormones in our brain, at the right time, which turns us into addicts with no will to resist?

Once we are hooked, all we see is news about disasters from around the world, about politics at home, about impeding doom.  To make matters worse, we see our friends in social media having a great time every minute of every day ... allegedly.  Why are we so desperate to be plugged into all of this and forgetting about what we are doing?

Now imagine, just for a moment, a world where you do not really know what is going on in the world or with your friends for a whole week.  No access to smart phones, TVs, or newspapers.  What would you do with all the time you now have available?

Do you think your mind would suddenly calm down? Would you take the time to go sit on a bench at the park to watch people go by? Would you engage in longer conversations with the barista at your local coffee shop or with your neighbor or coworker?  Would you call a friend to go hang out just to talk and shoot the breeze?  Would you go see a play or a concert or go to a jazz club to just enjoy the music? ... and would you resist the urge to take pictures to let people you are not with know how much fun you are having?

Try it and see what you think ... just one week feed blackout.  The Italians have a great term for the art of being with yourself ... and enjoying it - Il Dolce Far Niente.

Why do families end up living so far away from each other?

False goals ... independence, career, busyness

Our culture, the media, and society have led us to believe in some interesting concepts that often drive us to forget what is really important in this life.

Independence: Is being independent really the ultimate goal? Why? Is it when you ultimately end up alone and away from those who love you? Why are we so reluctant to offer or ask for help from our family when in need? Why do parents work so hard to not be a burden to their children and vice versa? Being there for each other, sharing, hugging ... in person ... it cannot get better than that.

Careers: An abstract concept that we have been taught to value over many important things like family. Is it better to make a long-term move to another city/country in the name of a career and/or money and away from our loved ones? What are we really leaving behind?

Busyness: Is keeping oneself busy all the time better than thinking, loving, or just plain chilling? Why do we feel that we need to be busy all the time (and tell everybody about it)? Is it good to burn our short life span with infinite tasks, errands, and meaningless jobs and not with the people that we love? In person?

One last thing ... lets not forget that traveling and exploring the world is one of life's greatest joys ... but instead of moving permanently away from loved ones and family, lets do it knowing that when we are done with our adventures, there is a place that you can go back, where our loved ones are! Home!

What is the key to creating your own good luck?

Attitude, good will, and energy

The first ingredient is to be able to generate opportunities for "good luck" to happen. Getting out there to meet people, get involved, network, write something, play, exercise. Once we stir the pot, then it is all up to us.

The key is how we will deal and process this onslaught of opportunities - our attitude, our outlook, how we embrace risk, how we handle unknown situations, how we handle success, adversity, and, sometimes, failure. And, more importantly how we can make sure that we are having fun through the process, always!

Finally, the best predictor of good luck is good will. Doing good things for others just because there is chance to do it ... without expecting anything in return ... teach somebody something, help somebody with a difficult situation, put your arm around somebody when they feel down, love everybody.

For some unknown reason, the universe likes this : )

What are some self-evident high-level truths that we often have a hard time believing?

The fact that nobody knows why we are here, where we come from, and what is in the afterlife.

I read a quote a while back that said that "any thought that defines the transcendent is one thought too many" ... because nobody knows. Traditionally, religions have attempted to fill this vacuum by creating interesting depictions. The reality is that religion is at its best when it focuses on human problems and not in trying to depict what is before or after life on this earth. Religion is at its best when it builds a sense of belonging in people, when it disseminates important values (e.g., help others). Religion fails when speculations about the afterlife distracts from important human issues.

The question about why we are here also boils down to the fact that nobody knows. At the end of the day, it is all up to each of us to live our lives every day the best way know how. To find purpose and fulfillment as we best see fit. Family seems to be a good source of purpose for many people. Anything related to people also seems important for many - helping, loving, etc.

So, lets not worry about the before or the after ... lets realize that nobody knows. Lets focus on the here and now ... on what makes us happy, fulfilled ... and enjoy it!

What is the key to self-improvement?

Quiet time.

When was the last time you had the chance to stop and think about the "why" of things? It seems that modern society is making us live our lives as an endless string of short, reactive actions ... emails, texts, internet, TV, errands, shopping.

What happened to the times when we would sit down with friends in a cafe, or a plaza, or a porch to simply socialize, philosophize, or to try to fix the world? What happened to the times when we would look forward to being alone in our rooms, or in a park, to simply think, or to write something interesting we just realized, or to observe the world around us?

They say that very few people have what it takes to become "enlightened" ... to rise above our human condition and to better understand the why of things. Most of us are too caught up in the day to day that we forget to slow down and to think about why things things are happening the way they are happening ... why people do what they do, why we feel what we feel.

Are we afraid to have free time because we do not want to get to know ourselves better? Do we fear having to think about deeper things? About the world? Why are we trying to fill every minute of the day with something to do?

Time to slow down and think a bit ... a side benefit? The passage of time slows down too. Weird : )

What is the main purpose of marriage?

Children.

Marriage is a well defined and mature institution that has become a key building block of most societies around the world.

Marriage is not only about love ... it is also about work, responsibility, and commitment ... it is about building something bigger than oneself with somebody we love.

Having children in a well structured, safe, and supportive environment is the ultimate test of two people's love for each other. The institution of marriage supports the creation of such an environment.

We do not need to marry somebody we love just because we love them. Marriage does not add anything to this situation (other than perhaps meeting some norms imposed by society.)

Marriage is the ultimate step in selflessness of two people in love ... for the sake of somebody else, their future children!

Will we be able to preserve privacy as technology develops?

Unlikely.

It is hard to believe that we will always be able to control the flow of information when it all becomes digital. When you consider that one small hiccup in security can yield incredibly vast amounts of data, why would we ever think that in the future we will be able to successfully control access and/or distribution of anything electronic all the time?

The real question is, what will happen when information about everything and about everybody is readily accessible? Your location and movements, your purchases, your personal information, your intellectual property, etc. Will it be too much that it will loose its allure? Will we develop some sort of apathy knowing that everything is available at our fingertips whenever we want it? Most likely.

Another important and real effect of all this transparency will be its impact on "questionable" practices - scams, crime, espionage, corruption, fraud ... no place to hide anymore!