What happens after you have a near death experience?

Clarity and Focus.

It is interesting to me that after surviving one of these experiences, things in life seem way less cluttered. Some of the things that seemed important before, are no longer, and other things become clearer as a result.

Realizing that you cannot really take anything with you when you are close to the end has a powerful effect on your priorities and in identifying what really matters.

At that moment, the love you feel for your loved ones (family, friends, humanity, etc.) and the love they feel for you is all that you have left. At the end of the day, nothing else matters.

What is the purpose of life?

I do not know.

There are some premises and emerging hypothesis that are sort of helping me build an answer to this question. Starting with the fact that 3-4 generations down the road nobody is going to really remember who we were. Even if we do something transcendental like making a great discovery, all that would be remembered is a name - not the person or anything else.

So if this is the case, is it valid to say that all we can do is to ensure that we live each moment to the fullest and to love as intensely as possible?

Maybe our DNA is already programmed with the answer to the "what is the purpose of life" question. If we are really programmed to pass on our genes, isn't this the source of the most intense love you can find? .... your children, your mate, your family.

The danger in modern society is that it is too easy to get stuck in the pursuit of so called "basic needs" that go beyond true basic needs (food, shelter, etc.). We lump the endless accumulation of material things into this basic needs category (houses, cars, vacations, etc.) that we sort of forget what really matters.

So, until we figure out what the purpose of life is ... love and live ... intensely! : )

What is the United States' key competitive advantage?

Three things come to mind: ability to organize, efficient infrastructure, and immigration.

After traveling to more than 50 countries, I believe the US continues to shine in these 3 areas. Americans seem to have an innate ability and willingness to work together and cooperate to create very complex and highly efficient systems (i.e., corporations, networks, markets, etc.). This ability is embedded in society, in the education system, and in the people. Many other countries are still struggling with the "survival of the fittest" syndrome - where personal gains are to be pursued first and foremost regardless of the cost (e.g., corruption, exploitation, violence, etc.).

Another key advantage is the US' infrastructure (i.e., roads, telecom, government, laws, banking, employment, etc.) which is one of the most efficient in the world at all levels. Because of its ability to organize, the US has developed strong infrastructures that are resilient and built to last. As a result, very few countries have the ability to approve a mortgage in less than 3 minutes, or create a new company in less than 5, or dynamically adapt your workforce up or down to meet market demands, or quickly secure growth capital for a business that has shown a good track record, or design and operate airports that can process 10-12 landings and take-offs every minute, etc.

Finally, the energy, hunger, work ethic, ambition and creativity that newly arrived immigrants bring to the table are unquestionable. The US has built an immigration system that allows a steady and constant influx of new immigrant talent (e.g., the university system at the top levels and illegal immigration at the lowest levels). Interestingly, most millionaires (as measured by having at least one million dollars in liquid assets) are either immigrants or first generation immigrants. This influx of talent and energy is a vital component that keeps the US at the forefront of innovation, efficiency, and financial success.

(It is interesting that countries like Singapore are also beginning to realize the value of immigration as an economic engine. They are now allowing and relying on an influx of Chinese immigrants to keep the economy growing after their own population has begun to slow down to enjoy the fruits of the previous generations' efforts in getting this island nation to have one of the highest per capita incomes in the world.)

So, are we losing our competitive edge? Not yet.

The one thing that we need to realize is that the landscape is changing. We are no longer the sole and powerful economic "black hole" that everybody else orbits around. There are now 3 equally powerful, and potentially independent, centers of gravity - the EU, Southeast Asia, and the US. The game is definitely changing.

Are entrepreneurs born or made?

Born AND Made.

This is the one area where both nature and nurture have an important role to play. The risk taking, adventure seeking, resourcefulness, self-starting, self-driven characteristics of an entrepreneur need to be there from the start (the "born" part). However, these traits alone will not result in a successful entrepreneurial career ... or even an entrepreneurial start. Combining these traits with a compelling personal need, access to capital, know-how, experience, mentoring, and education are also critical (the "made" part).

And then, when you finally have the "born" and the "made" parts lined up - you also have to have the trigger that causes it all to start rolling (e.g., losing a job, a willing investor, a friend with the skills you need).

Knowing that you "are" an entrepreneur is the easy part - knowing when you have acquired and learned what it takes to succeed is a bit harder.

If you need help figuring it all out, find a mentor (an entrepreneur that has been through this before) to help you get moving ... and enjoy the ride!

How important are friends in influencing you?

Extremely important.

The environment we live in feeds our souls - friends, school, neighborhood, family, country, etc. Our DNA only helps us define how we manage what the environment throws at us. A great skill to have is to recognize this influence and control its effect on your soul.

If we think of our environment as a series of concentric circles around us, our friends and family represent the inner most ring and therefore the most influential. Their input gets transmitted to us the most directly and powerfully through heightened emotions, intellectual pursuits, and physical experiences. Have you ever noticed how a small circle of friends tends to like the same things? They dress alike, listen to similar music, like and dislike the same things? Imagine the power of this influence for the wrong things.

Beyond this inner circle we have the other circles in our lives - our neighborhood, our school, our city, the organizations we belong to, our country and its media, and the world and its current values.

So. take a moment and look at your inner circle of friends. Do you like what your see? Are these friends likely to have a positive influence in your life? If not, you know what to do : )

What is the best way to get somebody that you like to notice you?

Flirting.

Flirting only means that you think somebody is "interesting" and not that you are hopelessly in love and/or desperate. Flirting is harmless ... but useful. It is just a game to let the other person know that you may be willing to explore getting to know him/her better and see if there is really something there.

Flirting is especially useful with men. Men are a bit more clueless and they usually need more help to realize that somebody likes them. Once they know, they tend to focus and to start thinking about the possibilities. If all the necessary ingredients are there (chemistry, etc.) then the relationship is likely to move forward.

However, a skill that is very important to develop with all this flirting is to be able to quickly realize whether the subject of your flirting is interested in you or not. If not, just move on.

So, go drop some hints to that special person you like ... You never know how clueless they are : )

What is one of the most important traits of a leader?

To lead by example.

In addition to being intelligent, driven, courageous, competent and so many other important personal traits, leading by example is at the top of the list for me.

Leading by example has an incredibly disarming effect when faced with a tough situation, a challenging task, or simply fear or doubt. Showing the way when things get tough and letting others see that you are willing to do anything you ask of them is the true test of a leader.

And once you get things moving? Then you need to Inspire - where are you taking everybody?

Why do we take so many medications now?

Marketing and the media.

Have you noticed how many pharmaceutical ads there are in magazines, billboards, radio and TV? They are everywhere. As a category, it certainly seems the most prevalent. If you were to really pay attention to all of this, you would think the human race is going down the drain fast. That all of us are sick somehow. That there is something out there to help us and that we should never put up with any sort of discomfort whatsoever.

Overtime, we have developed the notion that we need to attack anything that our body or mind is trying to tell us naturally with some sort of immediate remedy. We are not supposed to feel anything out of the ordinary - no pain, no anxiety, no fever, no diarrhea, etc. Have we forgotten that our body, with proper care and maintenance, is built to last a long time with no medicines at all? What about the notion that our body is able to tell us what is wrong with it and in many instances repair itself.

Our bodies do need help sometimes. For this, we need to step back, take control and learn to discern when medicine is a good thing. Who does not love a nice antibiotic when needed? The closest thing to a miracle drug in my book. You take it, you fix the problem, and you are done.

Where did we learn that we are supposed to take pain killers for every little pain, or stuff to sleep better, or to not be sad, or for diarrhea, or when we are hyper, or, my favorite, because we have a leg that loves to dance under the table?

So, how about listening to your body a bit more, altering your behavior as your body indicates, and giving it a chance to heal itself?

Can you tell what a person is like by just looking at them?

I think so.

One of the most intriguing observations I have heard goes something like this: "... the jaw-line of a person reveals inheritance, the lips tell you what life has done to somebody, and the eyes reveal the emotions of the moment ...".

And, the more you observe a person the more you can match their physical characteristics, movements, and reactions to the patterns and experiences that you have developed and accumulated over your lifetime of interactions with people. This somewhat subconscious ability is what we call intuition, gut feel, ... or simply, je ne sais qua.

So, observe a little and see what you think.

How do you best overcome shyness?

Stop thinking about yourself so much.

Being shy or embarrassed is really about thinking too much about ourselves. It is paralyzing when all we do is think about what everybody around us is thinking of us instead of just doing things (e.g., how we dress, how we eat, our voice, our looks, our accent, the way we walk, the way we run, the way we laugh, etc.).

It is very liberating when you realize that most people are more worried about themselves than about you or what you do.

What about when you have to give a speech in front of a group of people. Relax, remember the audience is not there to pick on you or to criticize how you dress or how you speak. They are there to listen to what you have to say. Thinking about a time when you felt confident and relaxed may also help get your mind off of yourself.

What about when you want to meet that special person that you really like. Focus on them and not on you, be interested in them and what they do. Forget about how they are perceiving you ... they are probably more worried about how YOU are perceiving them anyway.

The point is to try to redirect the energy you spend worrying about yourself and focus it on the other person, the situation, the goal, the activity, etc. Trying to figure out how others are perceiving you is a futile exercise ... and it generates stress for something that you are making up in your head.

What about when things really go wrong? The easiest is to just make fun of yourself and of the situation instead of panicking. More importantly, don't dwell on it. People around you will forget about the whole thing way faster than you think. Remember, they have better things to worry about ... like themselves.

So now, go wild and have fun : )

What is the simplest thing we can do to help the environment?

Reduce consumption.

Understanding the impact on the world of our everyday "buying" decisions is a very good first step. When these seemingly disconnected decisions are aggregated for entire populations and/or markets, the impact becomes very significant.

Whenever you buy something ...

• Think about having to manufacture millions of that one item (that is usually the effect a market as large as the US has on most mass related products), ...
  
• then, think about the amount of raw materials that will be required and where they are coming from, ...
• the fuel/energy required to manufacture them, ...
  
• the fuel/energy required to transport them to millions of consumers like you all around, ...
• the space required to dispose of them when they are no longer useful

Worst of all, think about all those raw materials and all that energy gone forever ... and, the fact that the cycle has to start again for the next batch.

How many of these cycles do you think the earth can support from raw materials to land fill? Not many at the scales we are able to produce these days ... in the meantime, all trees in the Amazon, Russia, and Indonesia will disappear, all coal and oil will pollute everything we see with CO2, plastics, chemicals, etc.

So what is there to do? Easy. Reduce consumption.

And whenever you do buy something:

1. Be aware of where it comes from and its likely impact on the environment if you follow the cycle described above, or
2. Buy things that are locally produced, or
3. Buy something used instead.

What is the main source of stress?

Lack of control.

Stress is primarily created when you find yourself in a situation where you do not have enough control to drive a desired outcome.

Have you ever been asked at work to do something for which you do not have the necessary authority to make happen? How about when you are supposed to get something done for which you do not have enough time or simply you do not know how?

How about when you are made accountable for the success of a project but you are not given, or do not have, the authority to manage the assigned resources? Does this bring memories?

How about when you are studying for a test and you do not understand the subject matter? How about taking a test when you did not have time to study? Here is a good one. How about when you get to the room where your final test is supposed to be and you find out that the room is the wrong one? Now you are not only late for the test but you have no clue where the test really is. Are you sweating yet?

The best strategy to reduce stress is to recognize and avoid situations where:

• you do not have enough control to effect the desired outcome, or
  
• the situation is simply uncontrollable.

And, if you ever find yourself in a stressful situation - focus on gaining control as soon as possible.

More control .... less stress. Absolute control ..... no stress : )

What explains weight gain or loss best?

Food Quantity.

People say that controlling your weight is somewhat out of one's control. People are very good at finding excuses and uncontrollable factors to blame for their weight problems - metabolic rate, heredity, family habits, the weather, or that my dog makes me eat.

The reality is that mass cannot be created out of nothing. If you do not eat, you will lose weight. It does not matter how many uncontrollable factors are against you. You cannot gain 10 pounds from 1 pound of cup cakes. Just plain physics.

You may want to spend hours trying to analyze what you eat and eliminate fats, or carbohydrates, or sweets, or whatever so you can keep eating a lot ..... but if you eat a lot of anything, however filtered it is, you will still gain weight.

So, how about reducing quantities first? Then make sure that what you eat is well-balanced.

Too simple? : )

How do you know when someone you like is special?

Comfort.

Have you ever met somebody that you are physically attracted to that, at the same time, makes you feel like you have known them forever? Have you felt that instant comfort and trust that allows you to spend hours talking about all kinds of stuff effortlessly?

If so, this "comfort" is a great clue that you have met someone special.

Physically attracted and comfortable - nice combination, no?

What is the best way to learn something?

Trial and error.

Our brain is designed to be a learning machine. A machine that requires inputs from the outside world. The more and more frequent the inputs the better. The ultimate goal is to drive our machine to build the required circuitry to deem new knowledge as "learned" and "stored".

So, what is the easiest way to build these permanent circuits?

Have you noticed that sometimes you learn something and 5 minutes later is gone? How about something that you learned when you were young, like riding a bicycle, that is always there? What is the difference? Simply put, you built permanent circuits for one and not the other.

Repetition and making mistakes is key to building permanent knowledge ... but also understanding that our senses are the inputs that feed our brains to build these permanent circuits - seeing, hearing, touching, smelling, tasting, hurting, feeling, etc.

The more we try something and the more mistakes we make and the more senses we use, the faster the building of permanent circuits becomes.

So, if you want to truly learn something, persist and not be afraid to fail ... and if failing is part of learning ... might as well fail big ... it is more fun that way : )

What should our next step be in Afghanistan?

Downsize and restructure.

Staying in Afghanistan without a well defined, attainable, and tangible goal does not make sense. And, given our current economic situation, can we really afford it? If the overall justification for being there is to contain terrorism at its source, why are we also trying to rebuild a nation?

Is it because we think that once the nation is up and running, terrorism will disappear? Really? Do we think that the police and the army are going to be able to contain anything when corruption is so pervasive?

Besides, how do we know when we are "done" rebuilding and it is time to go? With the current approach, we could be there for the next 10 years or more.

How about if we replace what we are doing with a very focused capability instead? Reduce our forces from tens of thousands to a few hundred.

How could these be more effective? How about structuring this new capability to only be target-driven based on a strengthen intelligence gathering infrastructure. Their focus would be on a series of discrete, clearly defined, attainable, and finite missions. Let's get everybody else back home.

Just my opinion : )

What is the key to a long lasting relationship?

Expectations.

Love is an interesting thing. Today, it seems like everybody and everything tells us that finding ever lasting and passionate love is the ultimate goal. And, that what we feel from the beginning should remain constant throughout the relationship.

There is nothing wrong with the idea of ever lasting and passionate love, the problem is the notion that these "feelings" should remain constant from day one.

The reality is that love evolves and changes like anything else. A typical life cycle goes through attraction, passion, infatuation, warmth, admiration, respect, stability, companionship, friendship, caring, etc. The challenge is to be prepared and to understand these different stages as you go through them -- and not fall in the "it is just not the same as at the beginning" trap. It is not suppossed to be. Love develops, if given a chance, into something deeper, more stable, and more meaningful -- ultimately, into some sort of "subliminal" and "transcendental" well-being by just being next to the person you love.

So, manage your own expectations. Expect love to change and enjoy the ride. The end game is worth the journey.

What defines the "culture" of a place?

The sum of its parts.

Have you ever noticed that certain countries seem to have different "personalities"? Have you noticed how different the personalities of people in France and Germany seem to be? What about Iceland and Mexico? How about with companies? Is the corporate "culture" at Goldman Sachs different than the one at Walmart? How about with schools? Is the collective personality of the University of Texas at Austin different than the one at Stanford?

So, what accounts for these personality/culture differences if each of the groups in the categories mentioned (countries, schools, companies) seem to have similar demographics - people, gender, age, educational backgrounds, etc. ?

Personality or "culture" is actually defined by the sum of its component parts (its individuals) - from the personality of a single individual, to that of a Club with 10 members, to that of a Company with 100 employees, to that of a University with 10,000 students, to that of a country with 10 million people.

When people talk about joining a group and seeking some sort of culture fit, they are actually onto something. Belonging to a group that matches your own personality and aspirations is a very positive experience. Belonging to a group that does not, is not very fun. The problem is that it takes time to get to know a group's culture. You cannot define what it is from a one day visit, or a day of interviews, or a 2 day vacation.

So, look around you. How do the cultures/personalities of the groups and subgroups that you are part of match your own? Are they a good fit? Are the groups influencing your own personality/culture in a positive or negative way? Do you need to fix or change something? If so, start today.

Is kissing an automatic invitation for more?

Absolutely not.

Have you noticed how the media (movies, TV, etc.) always shows a bedroom scene immediately after two people decide to kiss?

It is understandable how, for the sake of ratings and an interesting plot, you would follow that approach in a movie. However, this relentless portrayal of a simple act of kissing as an immediate, and implied, invitation to go all the way is spilling into real life. Why?

If going all the way is the utmost expression of love, then it is logical to think that in order to get there, you need to dedicate a lot of time to get to know the other person (including a lot of long and innocuous kissing sessions) before taking the next step. Right?

What is the best way to learn another language?

Full immersion.

Have you ever wondered why all those years of foreign language instruction seem to evaporate every time you want to use them? Languages are a remarkably complex undertaking (just like music) that require constant and prolonged practice.

Our brains are designed to learn based on trial and error and repetition/practice. The only way to eventually hard wire something as complex as a new language into our brains is to live it and experience it with everything we have. This means, we need to speak, think, write, dream, and hear it every minute of the day for a few months. Learning languages in a classroom only create temporary connections in our brain that tend to dissolve quickly if not constantly "experienced".

I personally can attest that I learned more in the first 2 months of full immersion that in 9 years of classroom instruction. I suspect that some of the theory and knowledge acquired during those 9 years, helped make the immersion process more efficient, but not until immersion was I able to understand and speak a foreign language fluently.

So, stop struggling. Make immersion (6 months minimum) part of your plan for truly learning a new language.