Thursday, December 3, 2009

How do you best overcome shyness?

Stop thinking about yourself so much.

Being shy or embarrassed is really about thinking too much about ourselves. It is paralyzing when all we do is think about what everybody around us is thinking of us instead of just doing things (e.g., how we dress, how we eat, our voice, our looks, our accent, the way we walk, the way we run, the way we laugh, etc.).

It is very liberating when you realize that most people are more worried about themselves than about you or what you do.

What about when you have to give a speech in front of a group of people. Relax, remember the audience is not there to pick on you or to criticize how you dress or how you speak. They are there to listen to what you have to say. Thinking about a time when you felt confident and relaxed may also help get your mind off of yourself.

What about when you want to meet that special person that you really like. Focus on them and not on you, be interested in them and what they do. Forget about how they are perceiving you ... they are probably more worried about how YOU are perceiving them anyway.

The point is to try to redirect the energy you spend worrying about yourself and focus it on the other person, the situation, the goal, the activity, etc. Trying to figure out how others are perceiving you is a futile exercise ... and it generates stress for something that you are making up in your head.

What about when things really go wrong? The easiest is to just make fun of yourself and of the situation instead of panicking. More importantly, don't dwell on it. People around you will forget about the whole thing way faster than you think. Remember, they have better things to worry about ... like themselves.

So now, go wild and have fun : )

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