Tuesday, December 29, 2009

How important are friends in influencing you?

Extremely important.

The environment we live in feeds our souls - friends, school, neighborhood, family, country, etc. Our DNA only helps us define how we manage what the environment throws at us. A great skill to have is to recognize this influence and control its effect on your soul.

If we think of our environment as a series of concentric circles around us, our friends and family represent the inner most ring and therefore the most influential. Their input gets transmitted to us the most directly and powerfully through heightened emotions, intellectual pursuits, and physical experiences. Have you ever noticed how a small circle of friends tends to like the same things? They dress alike, listen to similar music, like and dislike the same things? Imagine the power of this influence for the wrong things.

Beyond this inner circle we have the other circles in our lives - our neighborhood, our school, our city, the organizations we belong to, our country and its media, and the world and its current values.

So. take a moment and look at your inner circle of friends. Do you like what your see? Are these friends likely to have a positive influence in your life? If not, you know what to do : )

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

What is the best way to get somebody that you like to notice you?


Flirting only means that you think somebody is "interesting" and not that you are hopelessly in love and/or desperate. Flirting is harmless ... but useful. It is just a game to let the other person know that you may be willing to explore getting to know him/her better and see if there is really something there.

Flirting is especially useful with men. Men are a bit more clueless and they usually need more help to realize that somebody likes them. Once they know, they tend to focus and to start thinking about the possibilities. If all the necessary ingredients are there (chemistry, etc.) then the relationship is likely to move forward.

However, a skill that is very important to develop with all this flirting is to be able to quickly realize whether the subject of your flirting is interested in you or not. If not, just move on.

So, go drop some hints to that special person you like ... You never know how clueless they are : )

Saturday, December 19, 2009

What is one of the most important traits of a leader?

To lead by example.

In addition to being intelligent, driven, courageous, competent and so many other important personal traits, leading by example is at the top of the list for me.

Leading by example has an incredibly disarming effect when faced with a tough situation, a challenging task, or simply fear or doubt. Showing the way when things get tough and letting others see that you are willing to do anything you ask of them is the true test of a leader.

And once you get things moving? Then you need to Inspire - where are you taking everybody?

Saturday, December 5, 2009

Why do we take so many medications now?

Marketing and the media.

Have you noticed how many pharmaceutical ads there are in magazines, billboards, radio and TV? They are everywhere. As a category, it certainly seems the most prevalent. If you were to really pay attention to all of this, you would think the human race is going down the drain fast. That all of us are sick somehow. That there is something out there to help us and that we should never put up with any sort of discomfort whatsoever.

Overtime, we have developed the notion that we need to attack anything that our body or mind is trying to tell us naturally with some sort of immediate remedy. We are not supposed to feel anything out of the ordinary - no pain, no anxiety, no fever, no diarrhea, etc. Have we forgotten that our body, with proper care and maintenance, is built to last a long time with no medicines at all? What about the notion that our body is able to tell us what is wrong with it and in many instances repair itself.

Our bodies do need help sometimes. For this, we need to step back, take control and learn to discern when medicine is a good thing. Who does not love a nice antibiotic when needed? The closest thing to a miracle drug in my book. You take it, you fix the problem, and you are done.

Where did we learn that we are supposed to take pain killers for every little pain, or stuff to sleep better, or to not be sad, or for diarrhea, or when we are hyper, or, my favorite, because we have a leg that loves to dance under the table?

So, how about listening to your body a bit more, altering your behavior as your body indicates, and giving it a chance to heal itself?

Friday, December 4, 2009

Can you tell what a person is like by just looking at them?

I think so.

One of the most intriguing observations I have heard goes something like this: "... the jaw-line of a person reveals inheritance, the lips tell you what life has done to somebody, and the eyes reveal the emotions of the moment ...".

And, the more you observe a person the more you can match their physical characteristics, movements, and reactions to the patterns and experiences that you have developed and accumulated over your lifetime of interactions with people. This somewhat subconscious ability is what we call intuition, gut feel, ... or simply, je ne sais qua.

So, observe a little and see what you think.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

How do you best overcome shyness?

Stop thinking about yourself so much.

Being shy or embarrassed is really about thinking too much about ourselves. It is paralyzing when all we do is think about what everybody around us is thinking of us instead of just doing things (e.g., how we dress, how we eat, our voice, our looks, our accent, the way we walk, the way we run, the way we laugh, etc.).

It is very liberating when you realize that most people are more worried about themselves than about you or what you do.

What about when you have to give a speech in front of a group of people. Relax, remember the audience is not there to pick on you or to criticize how you dress or how you speak. They are there to listen to what you have to say. Thinking about a time when you felt confident and relaxed may also help get your mind off of yourself.

What about when you want to meet that special person that you really like. Focus on them and not on you, be interested in them and what they do. Forget about how they are perceiving you ... they are probably more worried about how YOU are perceiving them anyway.

The point is to try to redirect the energy you spend worrying about yourself and focus it on the other person, the situation, the goal, the activity, etc. Trying to figure out how others are perceiving you is a futile exercise ... and it generates stress for something that you are making up in your head.

What about when things really go wrong? The easiest is to just make fun of yourself and of the situation instead of panicking. More importantly, don't dwell on it. People around you will forget about the whole thing way faster than you think. Remember, they have better things to worry about ... like themselves.

So now, go wild and have fun : )